General Summers
by Isaboo
Summary: Fighting evil never tasted so good! Buffy struggles to deal with the Hellmouth and taking control of her own destiny, along with her new feelings for Xander after an eye opening Halloween. Season 2 rewrite, starting on Halloween, with way more snacks in the library. Buffy and Xander slow burn. Poll in my profile!
1. Halloween

AN:

Well, here we go!

Disclaimer: Not mine

* * *

Chapter One: Halloween

"C'mon, Bufferoni! Let's really commit to this dress up business," Xander pleaded, waving the white robe in Buffy's face.

"At least you won't be stuck as his sidekick," Willow added, her fuzzy mask slightly muffling her voice.

Biting her lip, Buffy took the costume and held it against her front, gauging the relative attractiveness of this versus the pretty princess outfit she'd been eyeing. Angel might prefer the old timey look, but to be honest it would be super fun to dress up as a group with her friends. And, she'd still be girly and pretty.

Just more kick ass.

"I guess. It is way cheaper than the other outfit. I want a light saber, though!"

* * *

"Chewie! There you are! What the hell is going on?" Han grabbed his copilot's shoulder, glaring around the streets of this crazy, backwards town. Tiny monsters were running around, ineffectually attacking much larger humans. "Hey, aren't you shorter than normal?"

Chewie relayed his extreme displeasure with his new height, and the general insanity of the situation. Then he started gesturing wildly behind Han, freaking out about something to do with Leia.

"Han! Where's Luke? What is going on?" Leia strode up, blaster out and ready for action (as always). "I've got his light saber here. What is this crazy place?"

The trio glanced around, taking in the chaos. Someone had set a nearby shrub on fire, and a middle-aged man was trying to extinguish it while also avoiding knee high monsters. There was a strange vehicle approaching, with flashing red and blue lights. Weirdly, it had four wheels and didn't seem at all capable of flight. "Look, Princess, I don't know where your brother ran off to, but we need to get someplace more secure and figure out where the Falcon is. Luke can find us with his hocus pocus." Han started off down the street, strangely confident that he could find a safe place to camp out.

"Han! Damn it, my communicator is completely fried," Leia growled as she hurried to catch up, smacking the busted device with her hand a few times. Chewie moaned in agreement.

Soon, they were in front of a house, oddly familiar although Leia was certain she'd never seen it before. "I'm pretty sure this key will open the door," she said under her breath, and sure enough, the door swung open in front of them.

"Buffy! Freaks! Help me!" A loud scream from the street made them whirl around, Leia pulling out the light saber and igniting it. The reassuring hum was almost as good as having Luke around, and if she was force sensitive anyway. Might as well use the cool weapons.

A girl dressed in a tight cat costume was trying to get away from a herd of tiny monsters. With a collective shrug, the three waded into the fray, trying to avoid any fatal blows since for all they knew, this was some strange regional conflict. "Get inside the house!" Leia commanded, shoving the girl towards shelter.

After a few strikes with the weapon, and Han and Chewie's careful marksmanship, the monster took off down the street. A few were limping, so hopefully they'd think twice about coming back.

"Let's barricade these doors, and then head upstairs. I don't like all these glass windows, too easy for us to be flanked," Leia started hefting a heavy table, Han coming to help her.

"Guys, aren't you supposed to be fixing all this? Isn't that your loser group's mission, fix the crazy Sunnydale problems?" Cat girl was apparently recovered enough to sass them now.

"Look, lady, I don't know who you think we are, but whatever is going on out there has nothing to do with us. I don't need to get involved in whatever local problems this planet has, I've got trouble enough with this one's family ties," Han jerked his head toward Leia, who scowled at him. Chewie reprimanded him with a growl and a head cuff.

"Ummm, Xander, this is your town. And what other planet could you be involved with? Jeeze, drink the Kool-Aid much?"

"The name is Han Solo," he retorted absentmindedly, checking their barricades.

"Look, whatever is going on has given you weirdos some kind of amnesia, I guess, but you dweebs dressed up like Star Wars characters. Of course Buffy _had_ to be a princess," Catty tried to explain. "Ugh, you're all useless. I'm calling Giles."

She crossed over to a crude communication device, and Han decided to ignore her for now. "Let's get upstairs, and shut off the lights. Hopefully we'll go unnoticed until we can get you out of here."

"Pregnant, not helpless, Han," Leia grumbled, but let him guide her upstairs. His sporadic overprotective instincts were mostly adorable. What was really surprising was that Luke hadn't shown up to glare menacingly at anything that might be any kind of threat to her or the babies. "I hope Luke finds us soon. He's been hovering almost as much as you lately, he should be here by now."

Chewie reassured her that her twin must be nearby and wouldn't let them worry much longer. Smiling her thanks, Leia chose a door that felt right and found a frilly but comfortable bedroom.

"Good, you can lie down for a bit," Han hustled her over. Chewie glanced around, and went to find another bed. He was oddly tired too.

"Alright, Han. But kiss first, and you have to be my pillow," Leia tugged his face down. After an appropriate amount of smoochies, they settled in. The stress of the strange town and worry about Luke definitely wore her out. Within a minute, she was fast asleep, curled up against Han's side.

* * *

Buffy really didn't want to wake up. Since being called, she hadn't slept well at night, but right now she was super comfy. The pillow was firmer than normal, but warm and nice smelling. Grumbling about the sunlight, she snuggled into the pillow, resisting the call of morning.

"Ummmm, Buffy? I think we were married last night. Please don't hurt me."

* * *

AN:

I know! Everyone does a Halloween reboot, but I really wanted an ensemble costume for them, that would also give Buffy and Willow some useful skills, instead of Buffy's cross stitching and Willow's completely bogus no skill.

More? Why yes, there will be more! Hopefully Leia can inject some bossy, take charge attitude into Buffy's non-slaying hours, and Han can make Xander less…Zeppo. Whether or not Willow tries to tear anyone's arms off is still to be decided.


	2. The Morning After

AN: Here we go, the next morning! Mostly Buffy and Willow centric, but don't worry, the whole gang will be very important to this story.

Thanks to all my reviewers and followers! I threw the first chapter together while resting between bouts of Spring cleaning; my husband and I are hosting a Bernie Phone Bank party soon, so we're making the house all nice for our fellow political revolutionaries/democratic socialists/liberals/progressives. You know, the sane people.

Politics are fun.

And scary.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Sad.

* * *

Chapter Two: The Morning After

Xander. In her bed.

 _Oh, god damn it._

"Buffy? Words would be good. Hello?" Xander waved his free hand in her face. Free hand because the other was still trapped by her body.

 _Oh, poo._

"Buffster?" Xander was clearly growing more nervous by the second, backing away awkwardly, hampered by the blankets still piled up around them.

 _I'm not wearing pants._

"I'm gonna go! I'll see you in school, bye!" With a final clumsy yank, Xander untangled himself and fell on the floor, grabbing the rest of his costume and scrambling to the door. She could hear him stumbling as he tried to put on a shirt and boots while running at the same time, a sudden loud crash as he collided with something.

"Xander?" Willow's confused voice was muffled, and Buffy could hear the thumps as Xander ran down the stairs and rushed out the door.

"Buffy, did I have a weird psychotic break last night or did we turn into our costumes?" Willow came into Buffy's room, stopping short in the doorway as she took in the scene. Her face flushed red, and then drained white. "Did you…did you have _sex_ with _Xander?_ "

" _No!_ " Buffy jumped out of bed, embarrassment in her state of near nakedness forgotten. "No, Willow! We kissed! Or…not us. I didn't kiss him, Leia kissed Han, but Xander _was_ Han! I don't know! I'm not wearing pants!"

"You…aren't. So…so, Xander and you were your costumes, and you kissed, but didn't have sex. Just smoochies. And…and, so you don't want to date him?" Willow rambled, her hands tangled together in worry.

"Willow! I like _Angel_. You know, tall, dark, undead and broody? I'm…in _love_ with Angel. Not Xander!" Buffy said, though the part of her brain that was still Leia Organa scowled and disagreed. Leia apparently didn't approve of Angel.

"OK. OK, we can deal with this. Xander's gonna be weird for a while, but this is fixable!" Willow moved into crisis management mode. She grabbed Buffy's shoulders, giving her a shake. "You need to be direct with him! No procrastinating, you know you can't this time!"

"Wow, Wills, you're direct today," Buffy blinked in surprise.

"Well…good! I'm tired of being a pushover. And you know how Xander feels, and he won't ever move on until you completely cut him loose!" Willow let go of Buffy but her voice stayed firm.

"Willow, I know Xander has feelings for me, but I've told him I don't feel that way. You know that. You _know_ I've been clear," Buffy said.

Willow gulped, looking torn. Her hands curled into fists, then relaxed. "I know. I'm just really angry today. I feel like I have an angry, furry alien in some corner of my brain, making me want to smash things!"

"I know. Leia's still in here a little too. I'm pretty sure I'd be a badass with a blaster, and I have way more understanding of diplomacy and tactics now. Giles should approve," Buffy smiled, pulling Willow into a hug. "It's alright, Wills. We'll be OK, and you know, Xander is an idiot for never wanting you."

"Thanks, Buffy," Willow sniffled, hugging back.

Buffy and Willow switched back into their normal clothes, and disassembled the furniture barricades downstairs. Joyce was due back in a bit; she'd been visiting her sister for the past couple of days. After procrastinating for a while, Buffy and Willow headed to the library, both hoping Xander would be avoiding the place for a few days.

"Giles? You here?" Buffy called out as they walked in. Cordelia was painting her nails at the table, and glanced at them with a huff.

"Finally sane again? God, you losers were hopeless last night. I had to call Giles, and then he made me show him where that lame new shop was. Then, he _yelled_ at me for trying to go in, and made me wait in the car. There were monsters running around, some of them tried to get in and they _scratched_ the paint!" Cordelia said. Giles emerged from his office, looking more rumpled than normal for a Saturday.

"Buffy, Willow. You both are alright? I meant to stop by and check on you, but there was rather a lot of upset last night, and Cordelia said you were all safely locked in the house," Giles came over and placed a paternal hand on each girl's shoulder for a moment. "You seem well enough. Where's Xander?"

"Oh…we're good. We're all good. Xander went home. He had stuff. You know, boy stuff," Buffy rattled out quickly, glancing at Willow.

"Yeah, he was all, 'got to get home and make a mess and get muddy and leave my socks out,' then took off!" Willow asserted quickly.

"Very good. Now, there doesn't seem to be any longterm ill effects for Sunnydale residents caught in the curse. Even those who were wounded while under the spell seemed to be fine, and the police are writing it off as a gas leak, causing mass hallucinations. Sunnydale Syndrome has taken effect already, and nobody seems to remember their adventures very clearly," Giles was blushing a bit, and seemed shifty eyed. Buffy was certain he was avoiding a topic. It was a… _feeling_. Leia's influence, she supposed.

"We both remember everything, but I guess that's normal. Xander seemed to remember as well. We've got bits of our costumes still in our brain too, do you think it's dangerous?" Willow spoke up.

"No, no, it should be harmless enough. Just a troublesome warlock, stirring up chaos, I took care of it," Giles evaded again. Buffy was sure he was hiding something.

"What aren't you telling us?"

"Me? Nothing. Really, Buffy, why would I lie?" Giles scoffed weakly, turning away and heading back to his office. "Now, I have some translations to work on. Why don't you go and…shop or some such."

Rolling her eyes, Buffy grabbed Willow's hand and hauled her to the back of the library for a conference. Cordelia, for whatever reason, decided to follow them.

"I am sure he's lying. I think I'm still…force sensitive, or something? It's weird, not as much as last night. But my Slayer senses are way clearer now. I could feel the Hellmouth before, but now I can…almost _taste it._ And I can feel an essence, I guess? Of people. And there's definitely still some vampires hiding out in the Master's old caverns," Buffy explained.

"Yeah, Giles does seem shifty. At least some good came of all the mess last night though," Willow agreed.

"Wait, there are still vampires down there? It's like, right below the school, though, isn't it? How is this safe? Buffy, you have to kill them! You know, because it's the right thing to do," Cordelia said, glancing around nervously.

"Cordelia. It's the middle of the day, they can't get to you right now. Chill," Buffy said. "Look, let's go investigate the shop, see if we can figure out what Giles is hiding."

"I can give you a ride, I guess. My autoshop is on that side of town anyway, and I need to get the scratches buffed out. Thank god Daddy got me my own credit card, or I'd have to drive around in a messed up car all weekend until my parents get back from Malibu. Ugh, this town," Cordelia turned on her heel and headed for the parking lot, evidently expecting that they'd follow.

Shrugging, Buffy and Willow trailed after her. Cordelia wasn't in the mood to be helpful all that often, so they'd take it for now.

* * *

The shop was a mess. Random pieces of Halloween costumes were here and there, but most of the merchandise was gone. It looked like "Ethan" cleared out in a hurry. Buffy assessed the scene, noting the signs of a struggle in the back room. She crouched by the pile of broken stone, sifting through the pieces. "It looks like this was a bust of someone. See, nose!" She held up the piece victoriously.

"Yeah, nose, definitely. Man, this place is a wreck," Willow glanced around, kicking at a smashed something with her foot. "It looks like Giles and Ethan had about ten fights back here. Is that blood?"

Buffy looked at the stain on the floor. "Yeah, and I don't think it belongs to Giles. He seemed completely fine today," she said.

"Yeah. Wow, I guess Giles won the fight. Weird to think he can…throw down," Willow finished awkwardly.

"He said it was a warlock. I guess we'll need to have a Scoobies-only research party. Maybe Ms. Calendar can distract him for us," Buffy said, shooting a grin at Willow.

"I hope he gets all nonverbal and funny again. Decorous! Ha!" Willow said, laughing.

"Let's get all these stone bits and move out. I wish we could have our own research materials, but the magic shop is pretty expensive. Maybe it's time for a job, you know, in addition to my slaying and school." Buffy glared at the pile of statue-bits she was scooping into a bag. "Life kinda sucks, Wills."

"Yeah…well, we can look for something with flexible hours, good pay and a boss that won't mind when you disappear to hunt vampires. Easy peasy!" Willow joked. "Hey, you heard from Angel? I'm surprised he didn't come by and check on you during all the crazy last night."

"Yeah, it is a bit strange. Normally he's pretty gung-ho about lurking in the shadows, stepping in at the last minute," Buffy grumbled.

"Wow. Not too happy with him, huh?"

"I guess I'm just…tired of making all the effort. He claims to love me, but he won't go out with me, won't hang out with my friends. It's like he _wants_ us to be doomed," Buff complained. Since having the memory/experience of being in an actual relationship, though a somewhat tempestuous one, she just wasn't satisfied with the barely-there style that Angel insisted on. Han drove Leia crazy on a regular basis, but he at least told her about his feelings and was there for her.

"Yeah. I guess maybe first loves aren't always forever," Willow gave Buffy a quick hug. "Want to get some junk food and movies, wallow at your place?"

"Sounds good. Thanks, Willow," Buffy smiled, but her mind was buzzing. She wasn't sure she ever really loved Angel at this point. Their relationship wasn't even real, by most standards. He lurked outside her window, dropped cryptic advice and then broke up with her last year. And now, when he was supposed to be more officially her boyfriend, he just disappeared most nights. He never wanted to take her to dinner, or even have a night in. She understood why they couldn't be a normal couple, but it felt like he wasn't even trying. She was tired.

When they first met, she was caught up in the romance of a mysterious, older, hot guy helping her out, fighting evil. The "oops he's a vampire" stuff just made it feel more important, more...dramatic. The part of her that wanted to be just a normal teenager liked how it felt so much like a romance novel. High stakes, seemingly impossible. It was very Harlequin.

 _I guess happily ever after isn't included in the slayer package._

AN:

Well, we saw some development of both Buffy and Willow. I know the force sensitive thing is far fetched, but Leia had the capability to be a Jedi (in the books she was, though they took a different direction for Force Awakens, clearly). I'm thinking that Buffy's experience with the Force made her more aware and adept with her Slayer abilities; we know Giles always wanted her to train more in the mystical side of things.

Leia is a skilled diplomat, highly educated in many, many areas (Princess, yo), so I'm going to make Buffy just a bit more perceptive of others' reactions socially. She was incredibly smart in the show (something people tend to forget, which bothers me), so I'm thinking she's going to use her new tactical skills etc to ration her time better, maybe become a bit more focused.

Willow, as you can see, is more assertive, which was a development that started in Halloween in the show, but she'll be getting to boss-town much faster now. Wookies don't mess around. Of note, she's not going to just suddenly get over Xander, so Buffy, being a good best friend, isn't going to jump into a relationship with him very quickly (Sorry, slow burn). I don't know how far into the show I'm going to take it, but if we hit season four, Giles will be much more involved in her training as a witch. I want her to have some brushes with darkness, but writing Tara's death would be brutal. So, if we get to Tara, she lives forever and ever because I adore her.


	3. Lie to Me (Part 1)

AN:

So much inspiration! So much Buffy!

Also, so many more words than last chapter!

Thank you to all followers, reviewers and random passersby! Hope you enjoy the next chapter, and feel free to shoot me some complaints/compliments/random life advice.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

Chapter 3: Lie to Me

Monday rolled around, and Buffy knew she'd need to talk to Xander. Not something she was looking forward to. _So much drama._ And Angel hadn't bothered to show up at all over the weekend. Giles basically camped out in the library, so they weren't able to sneak any research in, either. Seriously, Buffy needed to get her own books. Which required money. For which she needed a job.

Of course, she already had a job. High risk, reward in the form of gratitude from people who would willfully forget what exactly she saved them from a day later. Early retirement in the form of death. Awesome.

"Mom, can I stay home today? I'm still feeling under the weather from Halloween," Buffy complained, hoping her sad eyes would work some magic.

"Sweetie, I wish you could, but that principal of yours won't cut you any slack without a doctor's note. You and Willow seemed to be in wallow mode all weekend, though, what exactly happened? You said you guys had some hallucinations, but I'd like to know more," Joyce placed her hand on Buffy's, concern written clear on her face. "You know I won't be upset about anything that happened. I can't believe nobody lost their job over this, poisoning a whole town like that."

"Oh, just hijinks," Buffy muttered.

"Buffy. I can tell heartbreak when I see it in my own daughter," Joyce said firmly.

"Well…there was a guy. He's…difficult. He always makes thing so complicated, he's never willing to just be happy with me. I guess I'm just tired of waiting for him to decide he actually wants to be with me. And the weirdness with Xander didn't help," she muttered the last bit before thinking it through, then shot a worried look at her mom. Maybe she didn't hear. Maybe super-mom hearing failed.

"Xander? You had a fight?"

 _Of course._

"Well, we may have kissed during the mass hallucinations. Which isn't great, since a, he has feelings for me and I don't return them, and b, Willow's liked him forever. I just really don't want any friend drama," Buffy tried to minimize the damage. As much as Mom claimed to be cool with any Halloween issues, she probably wouldn't be so of the chill about Buffy sharing a bed with a boy.

"Ah, love triangles. I really don't miss being a teenager," Joyce smiled sympathetically. "Well, if you were to develop feelings for Xander, it wouldn't be the end of the world, you know. Willow is a smart girl, she'd understand if you talked to her about it."

"Mom! No! I _definitely_ don't have feelings for Xander. It was the gas leak," Buffy protested. "Look, I have to get to school."

"Alright, alright. I'll let it rest. Come here, sweetie," Joyce said, pulling a reluctant Buffy into a hug. "Look, I know everything seems life or death to a high school student, but this will all work out. If your mysterious boy isn't willing to work on the relationship, you should move on. And if you don't want to move on to Xander, that's alright. He'll move on, and so will Willow. That's the benefit of being young; you have lots of time to figure out relationships."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you," Buffy said, relaxing into the hug for a second before pulling away. "I really have to go, so much studying to do!"

 _Oh, if only she knew how little time I probably have._

* * *

Buffy actually finished all her homework that weekend, her new work ethic helped along by Leia's memories of studying. She even tried meditating, suddenly find it a lot easier to get into a trance. As such, she managed to impress her teachers by answering questions in class for a change, with approving-Willow smiles in their shared classes as an extra reward. She successfully avoided falling asleep even once, despite patrolling late last night.

"You know, this whole meditation thing actually works. I think you're on to something, Watcher mine," she said, strolling into the library during lunch.

"You, um, meditated? By yourself? Did you lose a bet?" Giles said, and started cleaning his glasses.

"Well, I guess my new enhanced Slayer slash Force skills made it easier to focus. Normally, once I start trying the dark badness power coming from the Hellmouth and all the demons in town gets distracting real quick. But now that I can track them better all the time, I guess it's easier to dismiss when I want to," Buffy explained, hoisting herself up to sit on the counter. "Man, I'm starved, and I already ate my lunch. How come the Watchers don't provide me with some kind of Slayer-Protein bars for powering up after slayage?"

"Ah, yes, that would seem appropriate. You undoubtedly use far more calories in your day to day life than the average girl, and must expend vast amounts of energy when patrolling," Giles answered, a contemplative look coming over his face. "I may just look into this. It is rather difficult to explain why a 16 year old is eating more food than an adult male football player; your mother must be curious at times."

"Mostly I'm just hungry a lot and spend too much of my allowance buying snacks," Buffy said, digging through her backpack and pulling out a bag of trail mix. "Tasty, if you only eat the M&M's. Thank god for Grocery Outlet and their wide range of delicious, cheap foods."

"Yes, I think some research is in order. Perhaps I could persuade the Council to allocate funds for your snacks. Normally, they pay for food, housing and schooling of all potential Slayers from a very young age, you just slipped through their nets," Giles said. "You could say you're quite the bargain."

"That's me! All the slayer, half the price!" Buffy threw a cheesy wink and thumbs up, nearly dropping her bag of trail mix in the process.

"Hey there, slayergal and watcherman," Xander said, his voice high pitched and nervous. He gave an awkward wave, sidling into the room.

"Weird, much, Xander?" Cordelia asked as she and Willow walked in behind him. "Right, I have a test this week, so is the world in danger of ending? Because I'd rather not get sacrificed or eaten while I'm studying."

"No, no, everything seems in order. So, you will all be…in here? I must say, I feel quite popular," Giles smiled proudly as they all assumed studious poses with various books, though he could see Xander's comic peeking around the edges. Well, at least he was reading something.

"Well, we've been thinking that we should be more prepared for the various baddies that will inevitably try to murder us in our sleep at some point," Buffy explained, hopping down and joining Willow at the table. Xander shuffled uneasily in his seat, but didn't flinch as settled in next to him. "Any recommendations for me to start with, Watcher mine?"

"Really? Oh, well…maybe the Compendium of…no, no, that's too dry to start with, perhaps Malechai's Codices…no, the translation can get dodgy if you can't read it in the original Greek. Well, we could try the Slayer's book, it should give you a solid grounding," Giles muttered to himself, then dug around his desk and found the same huge tome he'd tried to give her the first time they met. "Here you are. I honestly thought you'd never get around to reading this, given your usual disinterest in the more academic side of things. I must say, if this is going to be a trend I quite approve."

"Count on it! This meditation thing really focused me, I'm like laser-girl here," Buffy said, cracking the book open and settling in. "I can check this out though, right? Math is after lunch."

"Yes, quite. I'll just continue my own research, do let me know if you need anything," Giles continued his more esoteric work, occasionally giving the group a proud glance. Cordelia was of course done studying and instead fussing over her hair after a few minutes, but even Xander was actually working instead of goofing off. Apparently the comic was a quick read. Willow was helping Xander with his Algebra while also reading a particularly dense treatise on Earth Magics, and Buffy was making a respectable headway into her book.

By the time the bell rang, he felt quite chuffed. Maybe his slayer could be martially superior _and_ use her prodigious brain for research as well. Quite the dream, really. "Well, I suppose I'll see you all tomorrow?"

"Nah, we thought we'd head back here after classes. Maybe get in some training? Willow and Han could use some more practice in taking out bad guys, and you should lay some Watcherly knowledge on me," Buffy called back, leaving the room without noticing her slip up with the name.

Xander turned several interesting colors, torn between grinning wildly and hiding under the nearest rock. Willow swallowed, and decided to just ignore it. Buffy would find a new boy to crush on, and Xander would…well, probably love Buffy forever. _Jeeze, being a girl is rough. Boys suck._

"Han? What is Buffy's deal lately?" Cordelia scoffed. "Later, losers. I'll swing by the store to get my own sparring gear, no way I'm wearing communal work out equipment."

* * *

After school, the gang headed back into the library, and Giles set Willow, Xander and Cordelia to training in hand to hand with him while Buffy practiced meditating in several unlikely but highly gymnastic poses. Xander took a few cheap shots to the gut from Willow while he was distracted by Buffy's admittedly impressive efforts.

Cordelia was easily the weak link in the group, since Xander and Willow had their newfound, spell-side-effect fighting skills. Giles quickly decided the two should move on to more complicated forms, while he drilled Cordelia on how to punch without breaking her wrist.

"Are you getting why Cordelia has suddenly decided to hang out with us?" Willow muttered to Xander, giving the other girl a sideways look.

"Bit weird. I guess her finely honed sense of self-preservation finally realized that being able to fight would let her live longer, and buy more shoes," Xander replied.

"Hey! I can hear you," Cordelia snapped, landing a respectable punch in her annoyance. "I help out plenty, and Harmony's endless babble was starting to bother me. My followers will meet me at the Bronze tonight, so don't expect us to become best friends or anything. I just have a vested interest in the world not ending."

"Well, that's a good sentiment. I'm quite impressed with all of you, really," Giles said, beaming at them.

After an hour of sweat and some misery, they sent Giles out for pizza and much other foodstuffs. "Hey, G-man, I actually did real work today, like Willow, so I don't have to run the food errands. You have a car, anyway. Don't forget the cookies!"

Giles sent Xander a disparaging look, but did make a mental note to order extra cookies. These children could use a reward. Really, he'd like to see Travers and those other old codgers disparage his Slayer now. _Lacking discipline! Ha! She's mastered more meditation techniques today than most slayers get around to in months. I can't wait to turn in this month's records._

It was almost enough to make him want to thank Ethan, the bastard. Not quite enough though, as Buffy could have dressed up as a butterfly or some such nonsense and wound up dead.

"Hey, you've finally become useful, good job," Cordelia said, and nobody was sure if she was being sarcastic or not.

"I'm just not going to bite on that one. So! Willow, rip anyone's arms off lately?" Xander transitioned masterfully.

"No, but I did get real close to throwing a text book at Harmony this morning. Upside, I think half the football players are scared of me now, since I shoved one of them into a locker and sprained his wrist after he tried to grope me," Willow said, stretching out with an impressive back bend.

"Nice! I managed to lodge five spitballs in very creative places in my English class. My accuracy is _pretty_ impressive these days," Xander flexed his biceps and flashed a confident grin.

"Yeah, I think Willow wins this one, nerf herder," Buffy smacked the back of his head and sat cross legged on the table top. "Nice flexibility, Wills. You've been keeping up with the yoga since Saturday, I see."

"It's pretty fun. My neck and shoulders aren't all cramped up anymore," Willow tried and failed to get into standing bow pulling pose as she replied, wobbling for a second and then grabbing wildly at a nearby bookshelf as she fell. "Whoops! Hehe."

"I'd say you should all come to my yoga studio with me, but then I'd have to socialize with you outside of school, so," Cordelia said, shrugging and flipping her hair back. "But if you want to do some sessions before classes in here, that'd be great. I normally work out before school every day, and yoga is great for my legs."

"You work out…every day? Before school?" Xander repeated, staring at her.

"What, you think I'm that good at cheering by accident? All that gymnastics is hard work, _Xander_ , not that you'd understand about team sports," Cordelia scoffed.

"Yeah, Xander, cheerleading is actually pretty tough," Buffy said.

"OK, OK, I won't impugn the honor of cheer any more," Xander raised his hands and took a literal step back. "So…uh…can I do yoga with you guys?"

The girls exchanged surprised glances, before shrugging. "Sure, but don't complain when it turns out to be hard. Make sure you bring a change of clothes, unless you want to go to class all sweaty," Willow answered for the group.

Buffy and Willow started browsing through a few books, and Xander started poking through the weaponry. With a heavy sigh, Cordelia resigned herself to actually reading one of Giles' creepy old books. By the time the food arrived, Xander was shooting a crossbow with decent precision and Buffy found a particularly inappropriate section on sexy stuff in a magic book.

"Wow, this magical contraception stuff sounds great," Cordelia murmured.

"So…you're, you know, active?" Willow squeaked out.

"No. But you should always be prepared. You really can't trust the boys to take care of things," Cordelia answered breezily. They turned a page, and then slammed it shut, Buffy shoving the book away from them so hard it flew ten feet after leaving the table. All three girls were bright red when Xander whirled around at the noise.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I just dropped something," Buffy answered, grabbing the book and putting it back in Giles' office. _I guess some of this stuff he keeps hidden for reasons other than gore. I did_ not _need to see such a detailed drawing of that guy's…stuff. Magic is weird._

"I see you're all still hard at work," Giles remarked, carrying a tall stack of boxes with a bag of soda bottles hanging from his elbow. "Buffy, come take this before I drop it."

"Ooh, snackies!" Buffy bounced over to him, taking the piles of food and then arranging it all carefully on the counter. "Root beer, yummy. Good choice going for the hot wings, Giles."

"Yes, well, help yourself. I'm starting to realize you may not be eating enough. That may explain your feelings of tiredness after patrolling at night. Slayers should be able to get by with far less sleep than normal, but low sleep and a food deficit is quite unhealthy," Giles remarked, placing another full plate of pizza and salad in front of her, which she accepted with a shrug. "Some of my colleagues are shipping me what information they could gather from the Council's archives, in regards to Slayer metabolisms and such."

"Damn, Buffy, you always eat so much. That's still not enough?" Xander asked, tactful as always.

"Well, the Slayer abilities have to use a lot of energy, it makes sense that she'd have higher food needs. I always bring an extra sandwich for Buffy's ten o'clock snacking," Willow explained, shrugging and talking around a mouthful of pepperoni and cheesy goodness.

"Willow wins this round of the Best Friend Showdown! Sorry, Xander," Buffy grabbed Willow in a quick hug, making the other girl squeak as she almost dropped her pizza.

"Hey, I do plenty. Where would you be without my good looks, charm and amazing CPR skills?"

Buffy and Willow exchanged knowing glances, and Buffy transferred the hug to Xander, who blushed a deep pink. After a second, she suddenly noticed he smelled _amazing_. His shoulders had filled out lately, too. Now, it was Buffy who was blushing and she let go of him really quickly. Clearing her throat, she shoved a forkful of salad in her face.

"Wow, you three are fascinating. I can't wait to see what happens next, but I've got to go prepare myself for a night of being fabulous. I'll see you at seven for yoga," Cordelia grabbed her things and headed out, tossing her paper plate in the trash. "Thanks for dinner, Giles!"

"That girl is a bit odd," Giles muttered, seemingly oblivious to the drama his slayer was enduring.

The group kept studying for a couple more hours, and Buffy helped Xander with a few more weapons. She tried to keep things normal, but kept noticing weird things. Like his scent. His eyes. How tall he was.

 _NO, no no no no. Girl code. I will not let some jerk warlock ruin my friendships._

"Um, I have to get home. My parents want to have a family meal later, and I have a bunch of projects to finish," Willow started gathering her things too, keeping her face averted.

Buffy followed her out, grabbing her hand gently after the doors closed. "Willow, I know I'm being awkward with Xander. I'm sorry, I'm just getting really weird flashes from the Leia part of my brain, I guess," Buffy tried to explain.

"I know, I get it," Willow mumbled. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and spoke more firmly. "I'm OK, Buffy. I know you're just trying to be normal with him. We'll get back to usual soon."

"OK. Bye," Buffy waited a second as Willow walked away, and then went back into the library. Xander glanced at her, then turned away. He grabbed the last slice of pizza and took a bite, then glanced back at Buffy. "Sorry, did you want more?"

"I'll take some, thanks," Buffy tried to smile normally, crossing over and grabbing his hand, leaning forward to take a bite. Only after she'd eaten half the slice did she notice Xander's face being so close to hers.

Because she'd been eating from his hands.

Because apparently her brain thought that being couple-y with Xander was _normal_ now.

 _Because I've completely lost my mind!_

"Um…maybe we should…talk?" Xander managed to say around the awkwardness in the air.

"Yeah. Do you mind keeping me company on patrol? I really should make some vampires all dusty tonight. I need to work on my Spidey sense," Buffy grabbed her stuff, pulling a stake out of her pack and putting it in an easy access pocket. "Let's swing by my house and drop off our stuff. You want to crash on our couch?"

"Uh…sure. I guess it's a long talk, then?" Xander rubbed the back of his head.

"Xander. Part of my brain still thinks you're a smuggler, and my husband. We need to talk," Buffy rolled her eyes, leading the way.

* * *

Despite their good intentions, they were mostly silent until they left her house. As they neared a local playground, Buffy glanced side eyed at Xander, trying really, _really_ hard not to appreciate the view.

"So. Do you think we need an official divorce, or should we just call it quits and leave the legalities to the birds?" Xander tried to sound nonchalant. Really.

Mostly he sounded strangled and a bit heartbroken.

Sighing, Buffy hauled him over to some bushes where they wouldn't be so visible to passersby. "Xander…"

"I know. Angel. You like him, not me. I get that, you've made it really clear," Xander said, his head down.

"It's not just that, Xander. You're my best friend. I know I can count on you, can come to you for help or a shoulder to cry on, and I need that. I need you in my life," Buffy tried to explain. "Even if Angel weren't in the picture, you and Willow are too important for me to every mess with any of our friendships."

"Yeah, because clearly dating would just be the end of supportive me. I'd become a misogynistic asshole as soon as we kissed," Xander grumbled, and then gulped at the glare she gave him. "Sorry. I'll try not to dwell on it. It just sucks that I was finally getting over you, and then we get whammied into thinking we're a couple for a night. A fictional couple from my favorite movies, but still. Married and all that."

"Yeah, I know. Stupid Hellmouth," Buffy smiled, glad he was trying to make it easier for her by joking.

Suddenly, her Slayer sense went wild. Two vampires were in the park.

"Hey, is that Angel talking to a weird chick over there?" Xander squinted curiously.

They remained hidden, watching as Angel had some kind of tete-a-tete with Lady Creepsville. "Why is he just talking? What part of kill the bad guys is not clear to him?"

"Well, maybe he's distracted. By her wiles. Or he's having an off night," Xander offered, though not really sure why he'd want to defend Angel at all. Yeah, screw that guy. "Or, he's gone rogue and you should definitely never talk to him again."

"Han, stop it," Buffy chided, shoving his shoulder.

"Ummmm…think about what you just said," Xander said, leaning back a bit and fixing her with a stern look.

"Huh? Oh. Oh! Damn it, Ethan. Sorry, Xander, I'm trying to stop slipping up. Why haven't you been calling me Princess or Leia? Not fair that my leftovers are more obvious than yours," Buffy scowled, rubbing her forhead and squinting her eyes, then glancing back at the park. "I guess Angel's done with his creepy nighttime hangout."

"Well, we can still go find some vampires in a cemetery for you to stake. Restfield is nearby," Xander said, smiling. "And I've got plenty of mixed messages about you coming from my brain, don't worry. I'm just used to thinking through what I say around you, I guess."

"Why?"

"No reason."

* * *

After a long week of studying, slaying and training, she was more than ready for the weekend. Friday morning, Buffy woke up with a bad feeling. She was distracted all through yoga, and then, for the first time all week, spaced out during an Algebra lecture. By lunch time, she was feeling pretty wigged out about her general sense of ickiness.

"Buffy! Hey, long time no see!" Somebody grabbed Buffy and pulled her into a hug. Before she could think, she had him flipped on his back, pencil pointed at his throat.

"Ford?" She let him go, sitting on the floor in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"Wow, way to greet a guy," Ford climbed to his feet, offering her a hand up. "I'm matriculating! My parents moved to Sunnydale, so here I am!"

"That's great," Buffy said, but something felt off. He was setting off all kinds of warning bells, despite being clearly not a vampire. "Oh! My friends, Xander and Willow. This is them."

Buffy grabbed both by the arms and hauled them in close to her, getting a boost to her sense of security. Willow and Xander made small talk with Ford, hearing plenty of lovely stories about Buffy as a child. She stared at him, trying to figure out what was making her so nervous. Deciding enough was enough, she interrupted the chatter.

"Guys, we promised Giles we'd help with that thing, today. We should go. Ford, it was great to see you," Buffy practically dragged them away, steering them to the library.

Once installed at their table, she still couldn't focus.

"Buffy, wasn't he your friend? What's wrong?" Willow asked, concerned.

"I don't know. He's just giving me the wiggins for some reason," Buffy said, then collapsed on the table, burying her face in her arms.

"C'mon, Buffster, you'll figure it out," Xander cajoled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders for a brief second. He coughed, then recovered, "Especially when he shows up at the Bronze tonight to hang out with all of us."

"I hate you both."

* * *

AN:

Should I bother doing the full episode, or just leave it? I definitely need to have an Angel showdown next chapter, I keep getting caught up in Scooby interactions.

It always really bothers me when people have Buffy watching what she eats in fics. Like, Oh no, the mystical warrior with superstrength who spends her nights fighting evil needs to count calories to stay thin!

Yeah right. You _know_ Buffy binges on as much high protein and fat foods as she can get. Think about how much an Olympic athlete needs to eat in a day, and then add magic.

It's also just offensive in general when people assume that all girls eat nothing but salads and worry constantly about their weight.

Giles is going to be using Buffy's new motivated take on research to try and rally more Watchers to her side. Buffy doesn't know it yet, but the Council is going to have a lot of drama revolving around whether or not she should receive compensation for her awesome services.

You can guess where I stand on it.

Tell me your thoughts!


	4. Lie to Me (Part 2)

AN: And we're baaaaaack!

Thanks to all the reviews, followers, and favorites.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

Chapter Four: Lie to me (Part Two)

The Bronze was crowded with a rampaging herd of awful monsters. Or, as they preferred to be called, teens.

"Hey! Ford, you found the place!" Xander overcompensated by being exuberant, as usual.

"Ford! Buffy's friend from before Sunnydale. That's nice, having more friends is probably great for her, you know, because friendship is great," Willow babbled.

 _Thanks, guys. At least you have good intentions._

"Hi, Ford. You want a drink? They have soda, and many things they will not sell to us without much better fake IDs than we have access to," Buffy said, smiling in welcome. She figure recon would be a great use for tonight; if she couldn't figure out what bothered her just by meditating (tried it already), then she could try observing the problem first hand. "Good to see you, by the way."

"Yeah, I'll go grab myself a Coke. You guys want anything?" Ford took in their polite denials, and headed to the bar.

"Wow, you guys are spazzes," Buffy threw her arms over their shoulders, stretching awkwardly with Xander.

"But at least we've got good hygiene and strong bones!" Xander said, making the girls laugh.

"Buffy." Angel appeared, out of nowhere, as usual. "We need to talk."

Xander and Willow glanced nervously between the two. Buffy hadn't discussed the problems between Angel and her with Xander, but he'd picked up that something was off after not hearing about tall, dark and annoyingly broody all week. Willow, of course, knew all about Buffy's inner turmoil.

Sighing, Buffy decided she should really just get this over with.

"Come on, let's talk outside. Tell Ford I'll be back soon, guys," Buffy smiled at them, and instinctively grabbed Xander's hand and squeezed as she turned away. Then winced. _I really need to stop sending him accidental couple signals._

Out in the alley, Angel stood in the shadows. Buffy rolled her eyes and deliberately positioned herself in a pool of light. "Angel, where have you been? The whole town got cursed last week and I haven't seen you since. I was worried."

She softened toward the end. She might be pretty sure they were over, but he was her first semi-boyfriend, and despite the many, many issues…he was hunky. And a good kisser. He also seemed to care about her in some kind of genuine, romantic sense.

"I checked on you, but Xander seemed to have the situation under control," Angel said, looking away and frowning.

 _Aaaaand all my good feelings toward him are officially gone._

"Seriously? The entire town turns into their costumes, and you decide to be jealous? What part of 'curse' is so hard for you?" Buffy snapped, stalking over to him and pushing his chest. "I could have been killed. I could have decided to dress up as a helpless damsel, or something. Anything could have gone wrong! But, oh no, I kissed a boy while under the influence of evil magic wigginess and you disappear for a week?"

"You kissed him?"

"Not the point, Angel! And by the way, who was the creepy, lady of the night vampire I saw you with? I noticed you didn't even try to stake her," Buffy demanded, crossing her arm and walking back into the light.

"Look, there are some things I don't want to tell you. It might…be too much. I was evil, Buffy," Angel tried to explain.

"Yeah, I kind of got that. My problem is the way you saw a dangerous vampire, got close enough to kill it, and didn't even try! God, Angel!"

"Look, Drusilla was my worst mistake. My greatest evil," Angel held his hands out beseechingly. "I love you, Buffy. Let me explain."

"No," Buffy said, slicing her hands through the air. "Angel, I think we need some space. You don't trust me, and when things go wrong, you just disappear. Look…I really care about you. I just don't know if we're a good idea, and I have a lot on my plate already."

"Oh. I see," Angel said, taking a step back, farther into the darkness.

"I'm sorry. Let's just take a break for a while, and then reassess. We both deserve to be in a relationship that makes us happy, not stuck in all this drama," Buffy said.

"So. I guess Xander gets his chance now, huh?" Angel said bitterly, disappearing into the night before Buffy could yell at him.

"Men! Such drama queens," she grumbled, turning and walking back toward the club. "Seriously, I'm right here! Doesn't anybody respect the slayer anymore?"

She grabbed the vampire feeding on a girl and staked him in one smooth motion. The bouncer at the door agreed to look after the girl and put her in a cab to the hospital, so Buffy headed back inside.

"Buffy! You all right?" Ford smiled, too wide and too friendly.

"Yeah, just drama with my ex," Buffy said, grabbing her drink and taking a sip. Willow discreetly brushed some ashes off her shoulder.

* * *

"So, Ford knows you're the slayer? I guess that's…somewhere between good and bad?" Xander said, a day later.

"Yeah, somehow it's not reassuring, especially since he was lying when he claimed to kill a vampire last night," Buff said. "He's giving me full on wiggins."

"Well, I've been looking around online since yesterday, and he's definitely up to something shady. I can't find any records of his parents moving here, and his name is on the lease of some weird club downtown. Want to check it out tonight?" Willow handed her a few pages of printed out data.

"Yeah, and I'm definitely going to call in the Mom Brigade. She can try and figure out what's up with him through parental channels. If his parents aren't here, then maybe they can come and get him before he causes any trouble," Buffy glanced over the pages, though nothing surprised her too much. His general information was stuff she already knew, and the fact that he hadn't moved officially in ten years was weird given his claims, but fit in with her uneasiness about him.

"Ah, the often underrated power of a concerned parent," Xander said, nodding sagely and stroking his chin.

"And you're sure he was lying? What on Earth could he hope to gain from all this?" Giles was cleaning his glasses, gazing blankly at a bookshelf behind Buffy's head. "Very strange. I looked into it, and he's not a registered student at this school. Would you like me to call your mother and express some concern as well? It may help if an adult seems worried."

"Thanks, Giles! That'd be great. Be sure to praise my academic prowess and attendance records while you're at it, please," Buffy said, smiling up at him.

"So, tonight. You ladies and me, shady club, nefarious deeds," Xander draped his arms around Buffy and Willow, grinning. "Sounds like a good time!"

* * *

Buffy was almost tempted to let these idiots get eaten. Seriously. Worshiping the big, evil predators that stalked humans, especially in Sunnydale. A town full of mysterious barbecue fork related deaths and animal attacks, and these fools actually thought the vampires were admirable.

"I kind of want to slap all of them really, really hard," Willow muttered to Buffy and Xander as the trio stood by the stairs, gaping at the seriously weird display.

"First timers?" A smiling girl in a ridiculous outfit approached them. "I'm Chanterelle. Welcome!"

"So, you guys all want to be vampires?" Xander asked, with an admirable attempt to conceal his skepticism.

"The Lonely Ones are so often misunderstood. They're gentle, kind beings, who have ascended to a higher plane of existence," Chanterelle explained, with the beaming faith of a true believer.

"Well, it seems like you guys are certainly…a group. Together. A group of people, with views of the world," Xander said, awkwardly leaning a bit away from the girl.

"Yes. Can you excuse us, please?" Buffy grabbed her friends' elbows, steering them towards the stairs.

"Come and find me if you have any questions!" Chanterelle's voice was disturbingly cheery.

"Guys. We need to fix this." Buffy said, heading up and out. "Let's get some rope. Maybe chains, we'll see how it goes."

"Um, Buffster, much as I agree these idiots need a wake up call…what exactly are you planning to do to them?" Xander asked as they hurried through the streets towards Giles' place.

"They want to meet the Lonely Ones? We'll bring them some exalted beings to get acquainted with," Buffy growled.

"Oh, this could get messy," Willow moaned, exchanging a concerned glance with Xander.

* * *

"Giles!" Buffy shouted through the door a few minutes later, pounding her fist against it. "Giles, we need watcher skills!"

"Dear lord, Buffy, what is the bloody rush? I was just reaching a crucial point in my translation," Giles growled, yanking the door open.

"Tweed up, Watcher mine! We've got vampire groupies to disillusion!" Buffy swept in, followed by sheepish Xander and Willow. "Guys, fill him in while I raid the arsenal."

"What?"

"Well, we're pretty sure she's going to capture some vampires and use them to traumatize a bunch of kids who think vampires are misunderstood and lonely," Willow explained.

"What on Earth?" Giles gasped, turning to stare at Buffy. She was assembling an array of weapons, and had several chains draped around her body like scarves. "Buffy, you cannot be serious."

"Giles, these idiots are living in Sunnydale, accept that vampires are real, and yet think that they're harmless. They are a danger to themselves and everyone around them. So, we're going to give them a nice lesson," Buffy shrugged, checking the mechanism on a crossbow before tossing it to Xander. "Call it a public service announcement. Willow, you want the other crossbow?"

"Yes, please," Willow said, catching the weapon the next second. Giles sighed, and headed up the stairs to put on more suitable clothing. Tweed, in fact.

"So. Cemetery, you think?"

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" Buffy slammed into the club, kicking a chained up vampire down the stairs in front of her, two more dragging behind. "Hi, kids. I've brought a special surprise for show and tell. Who wants to meet a _Lonely One_?"

the assembled weirdos all stood in shock, then Chanterelle and a few others rushed forward to try and free what they thought were helpless captives. Buffy snorted, and shoved them all back, pulling out a crossbow and smirking threateningly. Willow, Xander and Giles came down the stairs behind her, slightly dusty from crawling around in the caverns near the Hellmouth. Bagging vampires was slightly more complicated than simply dusting them.

"What is wrong with you people? Let them go," A ridiculously floppy fellow said, his white wig slightly askew.

"Hey, bitey, I'm going to let you go. Feed on these idiots to your heart's content," Buffy tapped the first vampire's shoulder, then unlocked his restraints. As a fledge, he was hungry and stupid, so he jumped at the first poor idiot in a lace collar he saw. The groupies saw his face shift into his demonic visage and screamed, shrinking back against the walls. Several made quickly aborted moves toward the stairs but were warned off by the armed Scoobies.

Buffy let the vamp get a millimeter from biting the fool before grabbing his collar and pulling him back. The vamp turned on her, snarling and swinging. Buffy flowed around his fists, popping up behind him and kicking his back. He fell forward, turning to face her with a snarl.

 _Poof_

Buffy twirled the stake and put it back in her pocket. "Any questions? We've got two more guests for you," she waved towards the two other vampires, who were still struggling against the chains.

"What…what was that?" Chanterelle's voice wavered, her eyes staring at the pile of dust.

"That was a vampire. These two over here are also _vampires_ , you know, the bloodsucking fiends that you think are so deeply misunderstood," Buffy explained, enunciating each word very carefully and speaking a bit slowly. "As you can tell, they mostly just want to eat you."

AN:

The first thing I'd do when confronted with idiot vampire worshipers is make them confront an actual vampire, so I had Buffy get a lot more aggressive than Angel went with. WTF Angel?

Remember, your thoughts matter to me. Send me a review! I promise I write a reply to every person, and even an anonymous review will get a shout out in the comments here.

For motivation, here are the heroes of this story so far: Mike3207, Snorpenbass, Chi Vayne, SSSra, and araane! They all get ten points towards leveling up.


	5. Cupcakes

AN:

New chapter, nothing too exciting. But there's cupcakes!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

* * *

Chapter Five:

 _Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after._

Buffy groaned, rolling over and hiding her head under the pillow. Although her improved diet and new habit of meditation made her a lot less tired in the mornings, she was emotionally exhausted from the previous night. Ford's parents were devastated, and Buffy couldn't help the sadness she felt at the death of an old friend. Sure, he'd lost his mind and tried to sacrifice her and bunch of misguided but perfectly harmless kids to Spike, but he'd had a brain tumor. Chances are that's not so good for mental clarity.

She mostly wanted to stay home and eat cookies all day, but Giles was off doing Watcher things in LA for the weekend and Willow, Xander, Cordelia and her were going to take the opportunity to investigate what really happened on Halloween.

Also, Cordelia was bringing some fancy pastries and snacks leftover from a gala last night. She promised cupcakes with gold frosting and fancy ganache filling.

"Cupcakes…" Buffy moaned, finally finding the strength to push herself upright. "I can do this."

Borrowing Willow's resolve face, she stumbled into the bathroom and got presentable, throwing on comfy jeans and a cozy sweater for library comfort. She grabbed the duffel containing all her training gear and a shower pack so she didn't have to spend the day sweating after working out.

"Hey Mom! I'm going to spend the day studying and learning important life lessons with the gang," Buffy strolled into the kitchen, dropping a kiss on Joyce's cheek as she passed.

"Well, it's nice to see you up and moving so early on a Saturday," Joyce smiled at Buffy, a mug of coffee cradled in her hands. "There's coffee, and I can whip you up some pancakes if you want."

"Yes please! Can we add blueberries?" Buffy poured herself some coffee and bounced excitedly as Joyce starting whipping together tasty food.

"Here, pay attention. You really need to be better at cooking for yourself, you won't live with me forever," Joyce tapped the recipe on the box to focus Buffy.

"Yes, ma'am! Why not stir until smooth?" Buffy snapped off a joking salute and then frowned at the instructions.

"Leaving small lumps keeps them from being too chewy, and over stirring lets the mixture glutenize," Joyce explained, throwing a handful of berries in at the last minute and starting to griddle.

"Huh. Knowledge," Buffy remarked, staring around her mom's shoulder as bubbles started forming.

Soon, she was digging into a tall stack of pancakes as Joyce watched in resigned amusement. Polishing off most of the food in half an hour, Buffy popped up and did the dishes, grabbing another cup of coffee in a to-go mug. "Thanks for breakfast Mom! I've got to head out, but we'll be at the library. Can we come back here after? Willow and Xander will probably want to crash here."

"That's fine, just stay out of trouble," Joyce called after her as she rushed out.

* * *

"Xander, keep your knees straight! If your leg bends there's no point to the pose," Cordelia leaned over and slapped Xander's calf. Xander groaned and straightened out, sweat dripping.

"Poor boy," Buffy said, grinning as she stretched her leg out in front and bent over it, standing leg straight and locked.

"Can we be done soon?"

"Not even close," Willow laughed.

Many groans and corrections later, Xander lay panting as the girls gathered their things and cleaned up. By the time they showered and changed back into normal clothes, Xander was just limping to the boys' locker room. "I'll try to save you a cupcake, but no promises," Buffy said, patting his pecs as she strolled by.

Cordelia had set out an array of leftovers on the front counter, chief among them a full dozen chocolate-chocolate cupcakes, with ganache filling and fancy golden frosting, little star shaped sprinkles dotting the tops. Buffy immediately put two tiny, delicious cakes on her plate, as well as quickly assembled set of sandwiches using the fancy rolls, cheeses and imported deli meats. There was a small cooler with fancy European sodas already by the table, so she settled in with food and a pile of books.

Willow took over the computer, looking for any ties between Ethan Rayne and Giles online, and also searching for further incidents to do with either of them. Cordelia helped Buffy with the books, although she did spend some time reading the latest issues of several magazines. Xander eventually returned to help as well, though he was distracted for some time by food.

After narrowing her focus to books about magic, Buffy started looking for chaos spells in particular, since Giles said the warlock was a practitioner of those magics. Most of the spells and rituals described were pretty gross, though there was a cantrip to unleash a herd of rampaging butterflies. After several dead ends, she found a section in one book discussing deities worshipped by chaos users.

"Janus! God of Ancient Rome, a patron of chaos," Buffy exclaimed, pointing at the page in excitement. "His nose is just like the one I found! And it fits, there are descriptions of his worshipers using chaos spells on masquerades to turn the party goers into their costumes."

"Let me look online, ask around the forums. Good lead, Buff!" Willow started typing rapidly, bouncing a little in excitement.

"Alright, I'm going to start checking for more mentions of this Janus guy," Xander's halfhearted page turning sped up, his morale restored.

"Well, this is great! Just in time for me to go meet Devon for lunch," Cordelia said, standing and grabbing her purse.

"Bye Cordy," the others chorused as she swept out.

By the time they finished for the day, each Scoobie had a pile of information copied from books or online, and Willow managed to get ahold of several police reports concerning Ethan Rayne and an internet slambook entry written by several angry Wiccas he'd screwed over.

"Well, we should head home. Dibs on the last cupcake!" Buffy grabbed the treat as they headed out, tossing empty boxes into the garbage. "Mom promised pizza for dinner, by the way. You guys are still staying over?"

"Yeah, my parents are both at a conference in Spain for the week," Willow explained.

"Mine are just unpleasant," Xander said.

* * *

"Alright kids, I've got book club so I'll be home around ten. I expect all three of you to be here, innocently watching movies or playing board games. Pizza money's on the counter," Joyce left almost as soon as they arrive, kissing Buffy's forehead on her way out.

"Huh. Patrol now, or wait until she's asleep?" Buffy stopped and considered. "Later."

"Hot wings?" Xander asked, on the phone already.

"Yes. Giles gave me some extra money for food budget, so get at least two pizzas, alright?" Willow dug into her backpack, pulling out an envelope of cash.

"Hey, why not give it to me?" Buffy pouted.

"Pretty sure I'm still the responsible one in his eyes," Willow said, shrugging.

"We've got two large pizzas, hot wings, churros, salad, soda and breadsticks on the way," Xander announced, flopping onto the couch next to Buffy.

"Awesome. I brought Men in Black, Mission Impossible and Jerry Maguire. Alphabetical order?" Willow pulled three VHS from her backpack.

"Sounds good," Buffy curled up on her side of the couch, uncomfortably aware of Xander's presence. Hopefully Willow would settle in between them.

"Men in Black first, then! Will Smith is dreamy," Willow popped the tape in, then settled on the floor with a few pillows.

 _Damn. No Willow buffer._ Buffy glanced over, shifting awkwardly. _The key is to act normal. Just relax and enjoy the alien gore._ She shifted again, allowing herself to take up more space on the couch.

Fortunately, the movie and Will Smith's hotness soon distracted her from Xander. By the time the pizzas arrived her toes were buried under his leg and she was leaning half off the couch to confer with Willow about which exact part of the movie was the most gross. So many alien bugs, so many choices.

"I'll get it, can you pause? Xander stood up, tapping Buffy's feet. He brought in the very large pile of take out, setting them on the floor by the couch. Grabbing a paper plate, he piled three pieces of pepperoni and pineapple next to a breadstick, then handed it to Buffy. Grabbing one of the containers of wings, he placed them on Buffy's lap, then poured her a glass of root beer.

Willow watched this with raised eyebrows. "Xander, did you just serve someone else before stuffing your own face?"

Xander froze in the middle of grabbing napkins for Buffy. "Um. I guess?"

"Hey, don't discourage this, he's got a great system here," Buffy protested, her mouth already full of pizza.

Blushing, Xander grabbed his own food and settled back on the couch, lifting Buffy's feet so he could sit and then putting them on his lap. Willow rolled her eyes and pressed play, deciding not to question their weirdness too much. Clearly Halloween was still affecting them.

By the time Will Smith was sadly wiping his friend's memories, Buffy was almost full and they were down to half a pizza and the churros. While the movie was rewinding, Buffy helped herself to a few churros and one more piece of pizza and Xander carried empty boxes to the garbage outside. Willow took a bite out of her churro and turned to face Buffy.

"So. No more Angel?"

"Not likely. He's been lurking around though, I saw him hovering in the parking lot when we left the library," Buffy said. "Kind of creepy."

"Yeah, you'd think a guy that's more than two hundred years old would be better at break ups," Willow muttered. "You gonna put the fear of slayer in him?"

"If he doesn't stop soon, I'm going to shave his head," Buffy grinned evilly.

"Ooh, whose head are you shaving?" Xander came back in, smiling.

"Angel's. He's being a creep and stalking her," Willow said.

"What?" Xander's smile disappeared, and he swiveled on his heel, starting towards the door.

"Xander!" Buffy jumped up and grabbed his arm. "What are you going to do, fight him? I'm the one who gets to be angry and beat him up if the situation warrents it. Sit down, eat a churro."

"Buffy, he has no right to make you feel unsafe! He can't treat you like this," Xander tried to pull free of Buffy.

"And _I will handle it_. I'm a big girl and the slayer, I can take care of my own battles," Buffy said, moving to stand between him and the door. She put both hands on his chest and pushed him gently towards the couch. "Let's enjoy the night. I promise I can handle this."

Grumbling, Xander settled in. By the end of Mission Impossible he was calmed down enough that Buffy wasn't worried he'd do something stupid. Joyce came home as they were putting Jerry Maguire in, said goodnight and went to bed. Buffy waited until Joyce was fully settled, then gathered her weaponry. "I'll be back in a bit guys."

As she strode towards the first of _many_ cemeteries on her patrol route, she muttered under breath about men, and their manliness, and their unwanted interference. At least Xander didn't sit around and brood after being told to stay put, unlike certain _other_ men.

"Slayer!" A large vamp in leather and mullet leaped out of a mausoleum, fangs bared and a whiskey bottle swinging towards her head.

Buffy ducked, sweeping his legs and pulling out a stake. The vamp hit the dirt but bounced back up again in an instant. "Wow, way to fill the stereotype, dude," Buffy snarked, dodging his wild swings.

"I'm going to kill you, little girl," he growled, charging again.

Buffy threw him over her shoulder, then staked him before he could recover. "Yes, clearly I'm very dead now," she said in a serious tone to his pile of dust.

* * *

AN:

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	6. The Less Dark Age

AN:

So, I decided to change Dark Age pretty significantly. The whole thing spins out of control when they don't hear Phillip getting murdered because Buffy's playing loud "music" while exercising, and clearly in this story Buffy has enhanced Slayer senses that would warn her of evil times approaching. I'm not sure I like how it turned out, but I did completely skip having Giles endanger Jenny. Unnecessary in this story arc.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

Chapter Six: The Dark Age

The evidence was overwhelming: Giles used to be a bad ass.

"This is so weird," Willow muttered, looking over their compiled info one more time. "He's so tweedy now, you'd never know he used to wear spiky leather jackets."

"Man, look at this arrest report. They peed on a cop after tripping him. Then they threw up," Xander stared at the paper in his hands. "Giles partied _hard_."

"It's kind of nice, knowing that even Giles screwed up as a kid," Buffy remarked. "Other than the one guy disappearing, they mostly just got into trouble for disorderly type things. Still, Giles is _really_ not someone I'd expect to find passed out on top of a pool table, wearing a tutu, after he broke into a bar."

"Bucket listed," Xander muttered, snatching the report from Buffy's hands. "Guys, he also fleeced a gang member for about a thousand pounds at that pool table, _look_."

"Please don't emulate too many of Giles' exploits," Willow said, giving Xander a stern look.

"Hey, I'm _great_ at pool. Think of how many snacks would could buy if we hustled pool a couple nights a week," Xander said, smirking cockily.

"Alright, sharky, we'll see how good you are at the Bronze tonight," Buffy leaned forward, meeting Xander's eyes in challenge.

"Oh, I could show you how _good_ I am anytime, anywhere," Xander's voice was a husky growl.

"Ummm…can you guys assert dominance over each other later? After we finish figuring out what to do about Giles?" Willow said, a frown forming.

Buffy snapped out of it, sitting back in her chair abruptly. _Who knew Xander could be so sexy?_

 _NO! Not again, brain! Stop it. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts, bad thoughts._

"So, now that we've exposed Giles' oldest, darkest secrets and invaded his privacy to a beyond inappropriate degree, what should we do about it?" Willow asked.

"I vote Buffy confronts him," Xander said, half raising his hand.

"Seconded," Willow said, nodding.

* * *

"Giles, we need to talk," Buffy sat down across the table from him, reaching over and closing the book he was working with.

"Some trouble on patrol last night?" Giles asked.

"We know about Ethan."

Giles blanched white, and gaped at her.

"You dropped out of college for a year, got mixed up in a bad crowd, and have a sealed arrest record back in Jolly Old. Willow found the records online, everybody's digitizing everything these days," Buffy explained. "So your ex-buddy came to town and cursed all of us, I guess as his way of saying 'what's up' and you, for some bizarro reason decided against telling your faithful Slayer who loves you dearly about what really went down."

"Buffy…I suppose it's no good denying any of this," Giles sighed, removing his glasses and massaging his forehead. "My father was not the kindest of men, and I wanted to be nothing like him. I rebelled against my destiny as a future Watcher. It ended badly. You are my responsibility, I don't want to burden you with my mistakes."

"Giles. I'm the Slayer, hating on my destiny is my specialty. I get it," Buffy reached over and let her hand rest on his arm. "You were only, like, twenty. Lots of people do way worse, when they're older and supposedly more responsible."

"No, Buffy," Giles shook his head, shoving his chair back and striding to his office. He brought out a photo album, dusty and a bit tattered. "I keep these to remind myself of the terrible cost of playing with magics beyond our control."

He placed the album in front of her, opening it and pointing to the first picture. It was a group of young punks, Giles among them, along with Ethan, three other men and a woman. "This was Randall. He died after my friends and I decided it would be a good idea to invite a demon into our bodies. This isn't some youthful indiscretion, it was unforgiveable."

"Giles," Buffy trailed off. They found out about Randall going missing, but were unable to find any clues as to what happened.

"This is not your battle. This is my history, my life. Stay out of it," Giles snapped, grabbing the album and turning to storm out.

"Wait!" Buffy grabbed him.

"No, I'll be leaving now," Giles yanked away.

"No, you'll be following me because somebody is about to get murdered if I don't move," Buffy took off running, bursting through the doors and glancing around.

"Help! Somebody help!"

The shouts came from outside. She ran towards the sound, slamming a door open just before a man reached it. A shambling corpse, gross and decomposing, followed close behind him. "Get inside!" Buffy grabbed him and shoved him behind her. "Gross much?" She slammed the door and locked it, then dragged the man toward the library.

"Phillip?" Giles gasped out as Buffy shoved the man into the room.

"Giles! Thank god," Phillip stumbled a bit and then sat heavily at the table. "He's back. He's already taken Diedre and Thomas. I came to warn you."

"Who? Giles, what is going on?"

"Ehygon. The demon that we…consorted with," Giles sank into a chair, weariness clear on his face.

"How do I kill it?"

* * *

The corpse-demon thing was gone, and Giles was sulking in the bookshelves somewhere. Willow and Xander were helping Phillip and Buffy scour the library for ideas. So far they had beheading and hummus as possible solutions, but she was pretty sure Xander mistranslated the part about hummus.

"Well, so far we've got cross our fingers and hope," Xander said dejectedly, slumping at the table. "How can we kill something that will just jump into the next dead body when in danger? It's not like there's a dearth of dead bodies in Sunnyhell."

"Mostly, we're just not going to make it to the Bronze tonight. Ultimate showdown of pool skills will need to wait," Buffy said, sighing.

"Oh! _Oooh!_ I have an idea!" Willow suddenly jumped up, waving her hand in excitement.

"Yes, Miss Rosenberg, you may share with the class," Xander teased, tapping her hand. Willow let it fall to her side, blushing a bit.

"Well, what if we put its host in danger, and then have a dead body ready for it to go into? And maybe the dead body isn't actually vacant," Willow explained.

"Vampire? You think the vamp demon could kill Ehygosh?" Buffy perked up.

"Well, if nothing else, it might keep old Ehy _gon_ distracted long enough for you to behead him," Xander said, emphasizing the pronunciation.

"I get to live-catch another vampire? Fun!"

"Buffy, don't be ridiculous, it is far too dangerous!" Giles strode over, all rumpled and overwrought. "Ehygon is ancient and clever, he won't simply roll over. It would be nearly impossible to keep him in the host long enough for him to actually die. At the first touch of a blade, he'd be gone."

"What about a binding spell, bound to the vampire in question?" Phillip stepped forward, slightly nervous. "I don't…dabble…anymore, but I believe if cast a strong enough binding and activate it as Ehygon enters a new host, we can hold him long enough for the Slayer to deliver the final blow."

"I'm sold. Tomorrow night, we find Ehygolly and take him out," Buffy decided. "You two get everything you need for the binding together, and have Willow help you. Xander can help me round up a vamp tonight. Nobody goes anywhere alone until we take him out, and remember to avoid his goo. That one book said he uses it to occupy new hosts."

"I suppose I won't be given a choice in this, then?" Giles grumbled. "Alright, let's retire to my home, and get to work. I should have everything we'll need."

"C'mon, Scruffy, let's do this," Buffy grabbed a heavy chain and pulled Xander towards the door. Willow watched them go, a feeling of dread sinking in her stomach.

* * *

"So, you, me, and a pool table this Saturday. Sound good?" Buffy bumped elbows with Xander, smiling up at him. _So tall. His shoulders have been filling out lately with all the extra weapons work…nope, no, stop it Buffy-brain!_

"Well, if you think you can handle me," Xander said, winking at her. Buffy's eyebrows went up; confident-Xander was still a novel experience.

"Oh, I can handle. I can handle all night, just you…nope, never mind," Buffy stopped herself from finishing the accidentally dirty sentence. "Can we pretend I never said any of that?"

"Definitely not," Xander said.

Then he slumped and fell to the ground. Before Buffy could react, she felt a pinch in her neck, and pulled a dart off herself. Glaring around, she fought off the slight wooziness and focused, reaching out with her senses. Then, she snatched two more darts from the air before getting hit three more times. Growling sleepily, she started to fall over.

"Bloody slayers, so difficult to tranquilize. C'mon, Summers. Let's see how you take to tattoos," Ethan Rayne walked from his hiding place across the cemetery, stepping over Xander's prone body and slinging Buffy across his shoulder.

"Buffy…" Xander muttered, trying to get up. That ass monkey was taking her! _C'mon, Xandman, get up getup getup get…up…sleepy…_

* * *

"Now, now, Slayer, no need to struggle," Ethan patted Buffy on the head, wiping the fresh tattoo and giving it one more look. He put the needle to the side with a satisfied hum, "I missed my calling as an artist."

"Why are you doing this? I can help you, we can protect you," Buffy growled, jerking the rope against the nail again and again. "We have a plan to take Ehygon out!"

"Oh, but it is so much safer for me to leave you marked and disappear before the demon knows any better," Ethan said, picking up the bottle of acid. "Don't worry, this one's for me."

"Ethan, we can help you. I'm the Slayer, it's my job to protect humans from demons," Buffy tried again, the rope almost gone now, as Ethan poured the acid directly on his skin and hissed in pain. "That's so gross, by the way."

"Ethan! You absolute bloody bastard!" Giles burst into the room, a sword in hand and disheveled hair sticking up at odd angles. He rushed forward, pinning Ethan to the wall and holding the sword across his throat. "If any harm comes to her I'll kill you."

"Giles, it's OK. Mom won't be too happy if she notices the new ink, but everything else should be fine," Buffy said, breaking free of the ropes and rushing over to keep Giles from killing Ethan.

"You piece of miserable shit, how dare you endanger Buffy? I should string you up," Giles pressed forward, the sword drawing a thin line of blood across Ethan's throat.

"Oh, dear, Watcher, you seem to be inappropriately attached to your weapon," Ethan choked out, a twisted smile on his face. "You know how the Council frowns on Watchers that actually care for their charges. However will you handle their tests?"

"Giles, don't kill him," Buffy pulled Giles back, forcing him to drop the sword.

"Yes, listen to the little girl," Ethan sneered.

 _Wham._

Buffy's fist connected with his nose in a satisfying crunch, and she smiled as he slithered to the floor. "Let's grab him and head back to the library. Did you guys get everything ready? I'm going to need to head underground to get my vampire."

"Yes, everything is ready, but, Buffy…I'm so sorry that you were hurt," Giles pulled her into a surprisingly tight hug.

* * *

"Buffy! You're alright!" Willow raced across the library to hug her, completely ignoring the trussed up vampire Buffy dragged behind her.

"Buffster!" Xander rushed over, wrapping both girls in a hug and lifting them off the floor a few inches.

"Your sentimental rubbish is turning my stomach, can't you do that somewhere else?" Ethan grumbled, leaning against the locked gate of the cage.

"Well, now that we have all the remaining people marked by Ehygon in one place, I'm sure he'll be along soon," Phillip said, holding a page of notes on the incantation.

"Yes, let's all be prepared," Giles said, hovering behind the counter. The ritual was set up back there, out of sight. One incantation and a lit candle, and Ehygon would be bound.

"What's going on? Slayer! Let me go!" The vampire started to wake up, struggling against the chains that bound him.

"Not yet, Dusty," Buffy said, perching herself on the table, a sword balanced across her lap.

Time passed. Donuts were eaten.

A crash from the hallway drew all of their attention, and a feeling of foreboding fell over the room. The library doors burst open, and a clearly possessed man staggered into the room. "You fools, you cannot hide from me! I will have you!"

"Not gonna happen, Ehygant!" Buffy hopped up, putting herself between the corpse and the others. The demon roared, charging her. She ducked, kicking him as he passed. With an enrage yell he turned and tackled her, knocking her back into a bookshelf. Buffy got an arm loose and elbowed him hard in the gut, twisting around and pinning him against the wall. Willow and Xander started dragging the vampire closer, leaving him just behind Buffy as she started to strangle the possessed man.

Just as he passed out, a blurring shape faded from him and into the vamp. Giles lit the candle and shouted an phrase in Sumerian as Phillip tossed the sword to Buffy. As the two demons in one corpse started to fight, Buffy turned and swung the sword down, severing its head. A long scream echoed through the room, the body catching fire and burning an eery green before evaporating.

"Boom. Done," Buffy said, grinning. "Now, I'll just have to find a doctor that can remove tattoos and _won't_ tell my mom."

"Oh, I'll have the Council take care of it, it's the least they can do," Giles said dismissively, wiping off his glasses.

"Bright side, weekend computer class got postponed until next weekend," Xander said. "Thanks for sweet talking Ms. Calendar for us, Giles."

"Ah, well, I explained there would likely be some trouble on campus this weekend, so she agreed it would be better to wait. I'll be telling her about all this at dinner tonight," Giles said, shifting nervously. Buffy walked over and hugged him.

"Don't worry, Giles, she'll understand," she said. "Probably just like you more once she knows you're a reformed bad boy."

They set about tidying the library, cleaning up melted wax and putting away books. Ethan complained bitterly the entire time, of course, locked in his cage. "Are you planning to keep me here indefinitely?"

"Oh, no, the Council team will be picking you up within the hour. I made sure to call the LA office as soon as Buffy went missing," Giles said, smiling pleasantly at him. "They don't take kindly to warlocks interfering with the Slayer. Oh, I should call and ask for someone who can help with the tattoo, now I think of it. Be back in a jiff."

"What? Ripper, don't do this! They'll put me in one of their blasted prisons and try to rehabilitate me! I don't want to be rehabilitated," Ethan yelled after him as Giles went into his office and dialed the Council.

"Man, this feels almost anticlimactic," Xander said, picking up a donut and staring at it thoughtfully. After a second, he stuffed half of it in his mouth. "Mmm, sugar."

"Well, we still need to hit the Bronze tonight, so I can destroy you at pool," Buffy teased, poking his side as she walked over to Willow. "You guys free?"

"You're going down, Slayer!" Xander said, spraying a few crumbs.

"First, gross Xander. Second, yeah, of course I am. Apparently Cordelia's boy toy's band is playing tonight and they're pretty good," Willow said.

"A bribed dermatologist is coming along to provide treatment for you, Buffy," Giles said, reentering the room. "Given your accelerated healing, it should be possible to completely remove the tattoo in one session, with short breaks. If you meditate and focus your energy, your healing will be more than fast enough."

"Oh goodie," Buffy grumbled.

* * *

Ethan was gone, Buffy's back was bandaged and the Scoobies were dressed in their Bronze-iest outfits. The band was pretty good, despite seeming to only know a few chords and Giles even gave them a ride over before going to pick up Ms. Calendar. He was helpfully financing victory snacks, and in an especially good mood now that Ethan was in custody. Phillip hopped on the first plane to England, eager to get back to his job and family, though he and Giles agreed to actually stay in touch now.

Buffy and Xander were locked in a serious duel at the pool table while Willow alternated watching them and eyeing the cute guitarist on stage. She was pretty sure he'd been looking at her!

"Oh, what's up? What! Is! UP!" Xander raised his fists in victory, circling the table to stand in front of Buffy. "Who just won? Yeah, I did! Ha!"

"Yeah, yeah, by one ball," Buffy grumbled, crossing her arms and pouting.

"See, we could totally hustle pool and earn sweet cash," Xander said, throwing an arm over her shoulder. "Think of all the opportunities…"

His hand stretched out in front of them, gesturing to an imaginary field of wishes.

"You're lucky I like you," Buffy said, pulling away and going over to the table. "Willow, want to dance?"

"Ooh, yeah. Hey, you see the guitarist?" Willow bounced up, following Buffy out while Xander shrugged and settled in at the table.

"yeah, he's cute," Buffy said, grinning. "You like?"

"Yeah, maybe, I guess. I think he was looking at me," Willow blushed, then threw herself into bopping to the music alongside Buffy.

Laughing from joy, the two girls bounced around the dance floor, far more interested in having fun together than any of the boys around them. A couple guys tried to cut in, but found themselves shoved away and then ignored. After a while Xander made his way over to join in the carefree, uncoordinated flailing.

"Wills! He's definitely looking at you," Buffy grabbed Willow's shoulder and whispered in her ear. "He goes to school with us, right?"

"I've seen him around a couple times," Willow said.

"You should talk to him some time, he's clearly feeling the Willow goodness," Buffy said, elbowing her friend lightly. "Ooh, vamp, two o'clock! Be right back, guys!"

Buffy followed the vampire and her intended victim outside, sneering as the poor guy fell all over himself to keep up with the sultry vamp. _Ugh, men. So predictable._

* * *

AN: Ughhhhh, I'm not sure I like this chapter.

Whatever. Might be a filler chapter again next, or I could go right to assassin fun times. Eh.

I just started a new, totally awesome job, so my updates will be slowing down a bit. Hopefully I'll finish another chapter this weekend though.

Timeline, just for the overthinkers: Phillip does not die on Thursday night, they plot and plan on Friday, and kill Eyhgon on Saturday, before partying at the Bronze that night.

Heroes: SSSra, Sean, Chi Vayne, Mike3207, James Birdsong, BizarreBard, Rebel4ever13, WanderingDragonborn


	7. Xanderventure!

AN: I'm baaaaaaaaack! So exciting! This is a filler chapter for a Xanderventure, then on to the assassins. Seriously, sorry it took so long and I'll be faster next time.

Disclaimer: not mine.

Chapter 7: Xanderventure!

 _Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip._

 _Plonk._

…

…

 _Driiiiip…_

"Ghhhaaahhhhh…" Xander groaned, his head aching like an ax was embedded in his skull with a team of dancing goblins prancing on top. Another drop of water splashed off his nose, landing in the pool of murk at his feet. "The hell is going on?"

Raising his head to look around was unpleasant to say the least, and the view wasn't worth the extra pain. Darkness. Some dingy skulls that implied he was in a crypt. A couple guttering candles showed that Sunnydale's unique charm was on full display. The last thing he remembered was coming home from a solo night at the Bronze, a bundle of money hidden in his jacket lining (used clothes were easy to add new pockets in, at least). His pool hustle paid out in a big way, and then he discovered that Han was really good at poker.

Buffy was going to be so pissed. _"Don't get into any trouble without us, Xand. We'll see you for yoga tomorrow!"_ Stupid girls' night. Buff, Willow and Joyce all took the day off to do facials and eat pizza without him. "Must obtain male friends…"

His hands were tied together and pulled above him, hooked onto a chain dangling from the darkness above. An alarmingly loud growl came from one corner and he jumped, twisting his head to stare and pulling at his hands frantically. "Who the hell is there?"

The ominous chuckle from another patch of darkness wasn't exactly comforting, but no other reply came. The slow drip continued, sending shivers down his spine. "You know, i have scary friends. Big, growly, mean friends that will find you and kill you."

Still nothing.

Buffy's toenails were a particularly glittery shade of pink now, and it was making her feel pretty good about life. "This was definitely a good idea, Mom."

"Well, I'm just glad I could get you two girls all to myself for a day," Joyce said, wrapping her arms around Willow and Buffy, kissing Buffy's cheek.

"I just hope Xander isn't too bored by himself," Willow said, frowning a little.

"Huh...I think I just sensed a disturbance in the Force…"

Xander's entire body was a big ball of pain, radiating down from his wrists. The laughing jerk left a while ago, but the growls still came from the corner every now and then. At this point he was willing to risk that it was some kind demon guard dog rather than a person-type demon and was working on wriggling out of his bindings. Han was helpfully pointing out that at least it wasn't handcuffs so he wouldn't need to break his thumb to escape.

"C'mon, hands, get smaller!" Xander panted out, "I am not OK with dying right now!"

Finally, his right hand pulled free, mostly numb at this point from the loss of circulation. "Ha ha! I am the master!" Xander crowed, flapping his hands a bit to wake them up. "Only, not the old creepy vampire kind. Damn this hurts!"

The _snick_ of claws on stone was his only warning.

"No, Wills, I'm really, really sure that Xander's in danger. Can you just stall for me? I'll be back as fast as I can," Buffy whispered to Willow. Joyce was in the kitchen getting another mug of tea and Buffy wanted to sneak out for a quick rescue.

"Alright, if you're sure," Willow glanced nervously at the kitchen. "I can try and tell her you needed the bathroom. You're the one in trouble if she doesn't buy it though."

"Take that! You dungeoneering bozo!" Xander gave a final kick to the corpse of what seemed to be a hell hound. Somehow, he'd ducked out of the way just in time as it leapt for his throat, scrambling away and finding a heavy chain to swing at it. The scuffle lasted just a few minutes. Xander got a couple nasty bites for his troubles, but in the end he managed to wrap the chain around the hound's throat and choke the life out of it.

"Mr. Harris, where are your manners?" Xander spun towards the voice, chain rattling in his hand. "I go to the trouble of giving you such comfortable accomadations and you turn around and murder my pet! Very rude indeed."

"Who the hell are you?" He was proud of how non-shaky his voice came out. Han's swagger came and went sometimes.

A pale, thin demon stepped into the light. It's fangs were bared in the mockery of a polite smile, two of its four arms spread out in a welcoming gesture. The other two were each clutching a shopping bag; Xander could see the celery poking out the top.

"Simply a concerned citizen, trying to keep the streets clean for our youths. Also, I needed some fresh meat for my dinner tonight and you seem...tender."

The demon lunged, groceries scattering on the floor. His mouth was suddenly about three times as big, fangs behind fangs, venom dripping.

"Not today, buddy," Buffy's bright voice chirped out, just as a sword plunged through the demon's chest. "Now, you know it's not nice to try and eat people's friends."

She reversed her stance jerking the sword out and slicing it through the air, decapitating the demon in a swift move.

"See what you made me do?"

"Buffy! Man, I am glad to see you!"

AN: review and stuff.


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